Scary Bella
by Says The Schizophrenic
Summary: Bella is at Jessicas party, and get's drunk and drugged. What will the Cullen's do? My first story, full of spelling mistakes and kinda funny, so please be nice! :
1. Chapter 1 Scary Bella

**Bella's POV'**

"Edward I'll be fine! Stop worrying so much. Besides, Alice will be there." I said for the billionth time.

"I know, but I don't like it. Mike and Tyler is going to be there." He said, with jealousy dripping from every word.

" So what? It's just a party. You go and hunt and have fun. I'll be back at your place in a couple of hours." I said. I don't get why he is jealous of Make and Tyler. Like I would pick them over him. HA! Never.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning then. And try to come home in one pace." I just glared at him.

"Fine. I'll try. But I rely need to go right no, I'm a half hour late as it is." I gave him a quick peck on the lips, and hurried out to the car where Alice was waiting fore me.

At the Party.

"Wow, there's a lot of people her. I didn't think there were so many people in Forks at all." I said, as we walked thru the crowed of people on the dance floor, a.k.a Jessica's living room.

" I know! I haven't even met half of this people!" Alice said right behind me. We made our way to the steers, because there weren't so many people there. But when we got there, I saw Mike smiling at me with a red plastic cup in his hand. Shit, he saw me. We where about to turn around and leave, when Mike shouted my name.

"yes Mike?" I said, with a forced smile on my lips.

"Come here and hang out with us" I rely didn't want to go, but I didn't want to be rude. I glanced at Alice, she gave me a look that said; _Sure-but-not-for-long_ sort of look.

"Sure, but not for long. Were not planning on staying long." I said causally. His face dropt a little, but was soon back to his normal bubbly self.

"Cool! Do you guys want something to drink?" I was thinking about what Edward was doing, so when I said sure, I wasn't rely sure about what I answered. I took the plastic cup he handed me, and started drinking it like it was water. I didn't notice that I drank the hole thing. When I removed the cup from my mouth, everybody was staring at me wide eyes.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conches.

" I have never in my life, seen anyone drink a beer that fast." Said a guy, ho looked like he could be in college.

"That was beer?!" I almost yelled. Then I tasted what was in my mouth, and it tasted pretty good.

"Yeah, and you drank it like water. Do it again, please! That was so cool! Hey everybody look what Swan can do!" He yelled. And then Mike gave me another cup.

"Umm Bella, maybe this isn't such a good idea." Alice said with concern all over her face.

" I don't know, I feel fine. And they just want to see me do it one time, it's not like I'm going to get drunk or anything. I'm just having a little fun." how bad can it be? I mean two beer's is nothing.

"Okay, but Edward will be mad." She said.

"I'll deal with him later. He can't be mad about two beer's" _As long as I don't get drunk_ I thought to my self.

I took the beer an drank it one more time. I didn't feel different at all. I don't get why people make such a big deal about it. Everybody cheered at me. That made more people come over, and everyone started chanting " DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK."

"Okay, okay. One more and then I'm done!" I said and started to giggle. Mike handed me another one. It was empty two seconds later. And when I looked at everybody, they were staring at me in awe.

"You just got to do it one more time!" I heard a girl say from the crowed.

"Bella no. You said you were having two and you have hade three! You shouldn't drink anymore." Alice whisper in my ear.

"Relax ok. I'm just having one ore two more and then I'll stop. Besides I don't feel any different. I think I can handle this stuff pretty good." I said as Mike handed me yet another beer. But this one was bigger.

" Let's see how fast you can drink this one." He said with a smirk. I saw him betting money on how many seconds I could drink it. Many people were betting on me. I like this, it's fun.

"Sure" I said beaming. I was feeling wary giddy. When I was done, a guy yelled; " 5 seconds flat!"

Wow, he looked weird. He hade huge eyes. I started too laugh at him.

"Bella that's it! Come with me right now. We are going home." Alice said. But I didn't want to go home, so when she grabbed my arm, I started screaming, and sat down on the floor. Why would she take me home? There was no beer home.

"Alice! You do not have any beer home. I'm having fun with the beer, the beer is my friend. It said we could be best friends too, but we need more time bonding." I said. The beer was wary nice, it hade a family to it said to me. Maybe Alice was jealous, maybe she thought that me and the beer would be better friends then the two of us were.

"Fine. If you won't go with me, then I'm calling Emmett." She took out her phone and called Emmett.

"Emmett! You need to get here right now… because Bella is drunk and she won't leave with me…stop laughing it's not funny…We are at Jessica's party…. Okay see you in 10, bye." She hung up hung up the phone and turned to me.

"Bella, Emmett will be here in 10 minuets to pick us up okay? So stop drinking." She said firmly. The look on her face was so funny, I hade to laugh at that. She just rolled her eyes and picked me up from the floor to put me on the couch. When my laughter died down, I got serious.

"Alice, don't be jealous of the beer okay. We are still best friend's no matter what. No one can replays you, you're like my sister. But the beer is like a brother too me. I think I need a plan so that I can hang out with both of you so no one feels left out." Poor Alice. She was probably hart broken. But too my surprise she started laughing, witch made me laugh to.

"Sure Bella, what ever you say." She said an walked over too the window to look fore someone, how it was I have no idea. But Mike gave me another beer while Alice was gone. And I drank it happily.

This went on until Alice started yelling.

**Alice POV**

I can't believe Bella got drunk! She is always so nice and quiet, and now she is the center of the party! Edward is going to kill me. Good fore me that I'm already dead. I stood by the window and waited fore Emmett to come, he was suppose to be her two minutes ago. I glanced back at Bella to se if she was okay. I got so mad when I saw that Mike was giving her Beer.

"Mike what the hell is wrong with you?! Can't you see that she is drunk! She can't even walk! And here you sit feeding her beer! How much did you give her?!" This was the first time I have ever said anything to Mike. And he looked shocked at my outburst. I was so mad! My eyes where probably pitch black. I'm maybe tiny, but I can be scary if I want.

"Umm… err… j-just 7 I-I think" He looked wryly scared. Good, he should be.

" 7?! You gave her 7?! You are the most stupid person in the world! How could you?! How dear you?! I should just kill you right now and cut you up, and feed you to pigs! No, poor pigs, they probably would eat shit rather then you! You know what? I'm just going to tell Edward what you did, so he could deal with you. I don't want to sit in jail for scum like you!" I yelled in his face. Many people stared at me in shock . I don't blame them, this was probably the first time they have herd me say anything. They looked at me like I was crazy. Way to go Alice! Now you are the school's crazy person.

"SHIT EATING PIGS! Hahahaha" Bella screamed, and started laughing her ass of. She rolled on the floor, laughing like crazy. But suddenly she stopped laughing, and started sobbing instead. I sat down next too her.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Why did she start sobbing, she was just on the floor laughing! Humans are weird.

"Poor pigs! They have to it shit! Why can't they eat Mike? It's much more food in him. We have to feed them with Mikes body, or they might die!" She sat up with a determent look on her face. What the hell? She wanted to give Mike to the pigs? Haha she must me more drunk then I thought.

"Bella, there are no pigs." I said to her softly.

"They died already? This is Mike's fault. I hate Mike. Excuse me Alice, I must take the revenge of the pigs." She tried to get up, but fell back down. That got her more mad.

"MIKE! GET YOUR SORRY ASS OVER HER NOW!" She yelled. Mike came over and glanced up at me, he was still scared. HA! The coward.

"MIKE! HOW COULD YOU! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU PIG KILLER! WHY DIN'T YOU FEED YOURSELF TO THE PIGS?! ARE YOU THAT SELFISHE?! " She thru herself at his leg-from the floor- and bit his leg, hard. He started to scream in Paine. Wow, I didn't know Bella was violent as a drunk.

I was not going to stop her. He did this so he deserves it. And it was wryly funny to look at.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" Emmett asked. He hade just walked in the door. This must look pretty weird for him. Our quiet little Bella, on the floor, clinging to Mikes leg, and biting him at the same time.

"DUDE, GET HER OFF OF ME!!AGHHH!!" Mike screamed. Emmett lifted Bella up and held her around the waist. She hade her back agents him so she still saw Mike. He was so shocked.

"COME HER YOU BASTARD! THE REVENGED OF THE PIGS IS NOT OVER! IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!" she screamed at him. And he-like the coward he is- ran away screaming.

"OKAY! I'm taking you home now Bella." Emmett said. He lifted her up, and thru her over his shoulder.

"What?! NO! he's not dead! I am on a mission here! I cant go home until he's dead. Put me down!" She said. I have never seen her so angry before. She is like a Edward times 10! Emmett just laughed. He thought this was funny. And I have to admit, I think so to.

"Sure Bella, but you need a plan you know. You can kill him later." He said. How could he help her? Maybe he have had to deal with drunk people before. I don't know what to say ore do with them.Thank god for Emmett.

"But I want to do it know!" Bella whined like a tree year old. He just started to laugh again, and I giggled like crazy.

"Bella not know. Later." I said, trying too sooth her. It seemed to work.

"Fine. I'll wait. But when I get my hands on him, he's going to wish he was never born!" She said. She looked wryly scary. I did not want to be in a car with scary-Bella. She looked so evil that I wanted too hide. Good thing Emmett didn't see her face, cuz if he did, I'm sure he wouldn't want a 10 minutes drive alone with her.

"Emmett, you can take her in your car. I need to… um… by somethingbyegotago." I quickly got in my car before he could answer. That was a close one.

_**Emmett POV**_

I saw Alice get in her car, and drive away faster than Edward. And Alice is slower then Esme. Wonder why she was in such a hurry. I went over to my car and opened the passenger side. I sat Bella in there, and took her seatbelt on her. Now I know why Alice was in such a hurry. I looked at Bella, and she looked seriously scary. I gulped. Now I have to drive, alone, in a car, with this new scary-Bella. Dame Alice. I quickly got in my seat and started up the car.

I glanced at Bella, and she still had that evil look on her face. Then she started laughing. Not her normal nice little laugh. No, this was the new scary-Bella laugh. She sounded like Cruel' a De will from 101 dog movie, with all the dog's that have spots.

"MUHAHAHA! Mike look out, I'm coming to get you! Mohahaha!" She exclaimed. Okay! this is a car ride I am looking forward to end.


	2. Chapter 2 Hey Joey!

**Emmett POV**

Maybe this wont be so bad. She haven said a word in two minuets. But then again, maybe that's not so good. She still has that evil look on her face. I wonder what she is thinking. I wish I hade Edward's gift. SHIT. I have completely forgot about him! He is going to be so mad. Oh well, this is Alice's fault and not mine.

"Can you believe that creep? Do that to pigs. Ugh. DISGUSTING! That's what he is." She suddenly said. She has a new voice to. It's like she's a new person, like her evil side has taken over her body. Normally this would be funny. And it probably will be once we are home. But I'm stuck her alone whit her. And there is nothing funny about that at all.

"Umm Bella, what did Mike do?" I asked carefully. I didn't want to be on her death list. Poor Mike. She turned around to look at me. And then she smiled. And this was the normal worm Bella smile.

"Emmett, this is not for kids. You are to much of a teddy bear. I don't want to disturb your sweet little mind with grown-up stuff. You know that if you get to stressed out, your eyes are going to pop out of you're head. And I'm too busy with this mission to glue them in again." She said with her normal soft voice.

Hey! Did she just call me a teddy bear? And I'm older then her! And why would my eyes pop out of my head? I wonder what I must look like to her. She is more drunk then I thought she was. She is going to have a hangover to marrow. Hehe, and I'm going to be there and laugh at her.

As soon as the old Bella hade come, the new Bella came. She got that scary look in her eye again. Good thing the car ride is over. Cuz I'm scared.

I went around the car, to get Bella out. And as soon as she was, she jumped at me and gave me a big hug.

"Now Emmett, I want you to bee a good little boy and go play with your dolls. And if you are extra nice, you'll get a cookie!" She kissed me on the cheek and patted my head. Jasper was in the door, trying not to laugh. Why the hell would I play with dolls?! And I don't eat cookie's! She's acting like my mother. But as long as she is drunk I can't get mad at her. I'm never letting her live this down!

I saw Alice come from behind Jasper. I glared at her. She put me in the same car as scary-Bella. How dear she?! And she was the one that got her drunk in the first place!

"Alice! You are so dead! You mean litt-" I was cut with a slap in the face. It didn't hurt or anything. But I was shocked. Scary-Bella slapped me in the face! She is a violent drunk. I'm starting to miss the old Bella.

"Emmett!" She scolded. "you are not allowed to talk like that! No dolls for you, ore cookie's! now go to your room!" She pointed to the house. Okay this is just to weird and scary. I'll go to my room and watch TV. Alice and Jasper can take care of her.

"Yes ma'am" I said, and ran vampire-speed to my room.

**Jasper POV**

After Bella treated Emmett like her son and sent him to his room, she looked at me with an evil glint in her eye. Alice is right, Bella looks scary. I think she is the scariest thing I have ever seen. And I am over 150 year's old and have seen a lot of scary thing's. And then she looked me over and nodded to her self in approval. That made it more scary. What is she going to do with me? I gulped. This is not good.

"Jasper! My friend. Would you be interested in a deal? We can discuss this inside. Come with me, my child. Alice, maybe I have need for you, but I'm not sure. Come quick." She said with an English accent. I looked down at Alice, and she was as scared as I was. I took her hand, and we followed Bella into the living room. Only to find her on the floor. She was to drunk to walk a strait line. This could get interesting. Alice picked her up, and carried her over to the couch. We sat down in the love seat and waited for her to speak.

"Jasper, you're so smart." She stated. I looked at her in shock. Where did that come from?

"Okay…" I said. It sounded like a question. Alice looked at her to, her emotions where; scared and puzzled. She didn't know where this was going ether. That was not a good thing.

"I know your secret Jasper. I know. And it's nothing to be ashamed about. I feel the same way. We need a plan. And I could use your brain. As for Alice I'm not sure. We could maybe give her to the pillows, as a peace offering." She eyed Alice a little. But suddenly turned to me again. Why would we give Alice to the pillows? And what secret do I have, that she feels the same way about. But then I remembered what Alice had said. She was talking about Mike and the pigs.

She also said that I should just play along. This could get interesting. And I have nothing to do… Oh well, I'll just play along and see what happens.

"Good that you know. And I'm sure we will come up with something. But why do we have to give Alice to the pillows? Why cant we give them blanket's instead?" I suggested. I was trying so hard not to laugh, and I could feel Alice having a hard time not to laugh as well.

"See! You're brain is just splendid! Yes we can give them the blankets. We might need Alice for later. Good thinking Jasper." She was proud of me. I'm just glad I'm not on her death list.

"Now, as for this "Mike". how is the best way to kill him?" This question, I did not expect. I guess Alice didn't mention that she was going to kill him.

"Why do you kill Mike?" I asked her. Waves of anger and sadness rolled off of her. And then she started sobbing.

"I don't know! I can't remember!" She was sobbing really hard. But suddenly she stopped. And she looked at me and started to giggle like crazy.

"Jasper! You're heir is talking! No be quiet I'm trying to here what it's saying." She said. I was rely confused. What the hell? What dues she mean, my hear is talking?

"Ahh…My name is Bella…I'm 18... That is a good idea…no no, Emmett is not a girl….Well thank you for telling me…I'll see you around…okay the beer can come….bye Joey." OKAY! She just hade a little chat with my heir. Humans are weird. She is looking at me again. And now she is back in Scary Bella Mode. What is she going to do with me? And did she just call my heir "Joey"? Alice is no help. She is rolling around the floor laughing at Bella.

"Jasper, Joey just told me the plan. I think your heir is smarter then you. But it's Okay, we still love you. And he just told me what I couldn't remember. But now I know. We must kill Mike, now. And when we kill him, we are going to cut him up and give him to the pixies." She told me, while she tried to get up. She was just to drunk. It was funny to watch her, struggling like that.

"Why do we have to give him to the pixie's?" I asked her. That didn't make sense. But nothing she said made sense right now.

"Because Alice looks like a pixie." She answered me like I was a 3 year old.

"could you explain that to me?" this was rely confusing. I wonder if she even have an explanation.

"Alice was the one how told me about the pigs that hade to it shit, and that Mike was to selfish to kill himself so the pigs could live. But Alice doesn't know that the pixies where the pigs parents. And it was Joey's idea." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay…But why did he think Emmett was a girl?" That one made no scene. Emmett doesn't look like a girl at all!

"Oh! He said he saw Emmett in a pink tutu a few year's ago. And he have been wondering about that for a long time." This was creeping me out. Because I saw Emmett in a pink tutu ha few years ago. And now my heir is telling it to Bella?!

"ROSALIE MADE ME TRY IT ON! IT WAS HALLOWEEN!!!" Emmett yelled down the stars. Alice was scared now too. Bella hade a conversation with my heir. My heir has it's one mind, and name, and it's talking. I stared at her for a little wiled, and then sprinted up too my office. And I am not coming down until Bella is sober. I love Alice, but this is her fault. Just hope she isn't too mad at me for letting her be alone with Bella.


	3. Chapter 3 I have been a bad little boy

**Alice POV**

Why did I have to be so scared? I was too busy backing up against the wall, that I didn't notice Jasper running away. Hey! Why did he leave me with scary-Bella. He is my husband, he should be her protecting me. Not go all "I-am-to-scared-to-face-the-crazy-human-so-I-leave-my-wife-to-deal-with-her" But no, he went upstairs to hide. Then I got a vision;

_Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie came true the door. They saw Bella sitting on the floor and talking too a plant. They all looked at me questioning. But then they smelled the alcohol on her breathe, and was immediately shocked._

_"Alice, why is Bella talking to the plant? And is tha--" He didn't get to finish because scary- Bella shushed him. She was in full scary-mode._

_"Shh! Mr. Medical man. Can't you see I am trying to talk to the Pixie people? That's really hard when you talk. You just have to wait your turn, my child. Why don't you go and play dress up with Rosalie?" He looked stunned. I don't thing anybody has ever shushed Carlisle before. Esme and Rosalie started too laugh._

_End of vision_

When I opened my eyes, Bella was in my face. She looked mad. And since she is all up in my face, I'm guessing that she is mad at me. I gulped. What did I do?

"GIVE IT TO ME!!" She shrieked.

"G-g-give w-what to y-you?" I managed to get out.

"YOU TOOK IT! NOW GIVE IT BACK! YOUR JUST JEALOUS OF THE BEER! NOW GIVE ME THE PHONE NUMBER! I NEED TO CALL THE PIXIE PEOPLE, TO TELL THEM THE BAD NEWS!" I don't know what the me-being-jealous-of-the-beer had to do with anything, but I didn't have any phone number to the pixie people. I'll just have to pretend.

"Here you go. I knew I couldn't fool you." I sighted. I'm sick of the scary-drunk-Bella. I miss the old one. She was way nicer.

"Alice, you need too stop snooping true my Mafia stuff. This is serious, okay?" She pulled me in to a hug. I was to stunned by her mood swings. When did she become the Mafia? And why is these pigs so important? While I was sitting on the couch thinking about this, Bella sat down on the floor, dialed the number in the dirt, and stared blankly at the plant.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Tomato. I am sorry to inform you that your piglets have past away….they died of starvation….yeah… Well we--" Right then Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie came true the door. They saw Bella sitting on the floor and talking to a plant. They all looked at me questioning . But then they smelled the alcohol on her breathe, and was immediately shocked.

"Alice, why is Bella talking to the plant? And is tha--" He didn't get to finish because scary-Bella shushed him. She was in full scary-mode.

"Shh! Mr. Medical man. Can't you see I am trying to talk to the Pixie people? That's really hard when you talk. You just have to wait your turn, my child. Why don't you go and play dress up with Rosalie?" He looked stunned. I don't think anybody has ever shushed Carlisle before. Esme and Rosalie started to laugh. And I found my self giggling a little to.

"So sorry about that….yes as I was saying--"She true an evil glare at Carlisle-who winced- while saying it." I think we should kill Mike….yes….well, we could use a knife…yes that is bloody…well only if I get to cut him up later….Okay drowning it is….yes I'll see you soon…..I must tell my husband….because we will need a baby sitter…Okay I'll call you later. Bye" She pressed on the dirt and stood up. She was wobbling from side to side. Poor thing, she was so drunk she couldn't even stand up straight. Wait, did she just say husband?! OH MY GOD! She thinks Edward is her husband and that we are her kids. I wonder what Edward's going to say. This is hilarious!

"Carlisle Cullen! I am so disappointed in you! Interrupt while I'm on the phone. I thought I had raised you better than that. There will be no cookie's for you Mr! just wait until you're father gets here. Now go sit in that cheer and think about what you did!" She pointed to the living room. After she said that, we stopped laughing. Carlisle where the first to speak.

"Alice what's wrong with Bella? I can smell the alcohol and I know she is drunk. But I don't think she is just drunk, cuz there is something more to this." He said, not taking his eyes off of Bella. Who was fuming for some reason.

"FINE! If you don't want to go you're self, then I'll drag you there!" She took ear and dragged him into the living room. She made him sit in the cheer. And out of no where, she pulled out a blue hat that said ; I have been a bad little boy; on it. She put it on him with a determent look on her face.

"Now, you are going to sit here until your father gets here. Esme and Rosalie go and do your homework upstairs. Now. And Alice, please watch your brother and make sure he dos not take his hat of. And he will sit there until your father gets home." She started to boss everybody around.

Rosalie just rolled her eyes and got up to her room, to see what Emmett was doing. And Esme took one look at Carlisle and busted out laughing. He just looked back at her with pleading eyes. She shook her head and went up too her room to reed a book.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She took her time, and made it to the kitchen. I heard a soft TUHD' sound. But It was just Bella falling on the floor.

"I'm okay!" She yelled.

"What is going on? Edward will not like this at all. He will be mad. She isn't just drunk. I think someone has drugged her. And you were suppose to watch her! How did this happen, and why is she going to kill Mike?" He asked in a soft voice so Bella couldn't hear.

So I told him everything. About how Bella got drunk, about Mike and Joey a.k.a Jasper's hair. And every little detail. He was surprised and amused. I thought he would be mad or something. But he wasn't.

"How do you know she's drugged?" I asked. How could he know that.

"Because you guys have been home for 3 hoers, and if she was just drunk, she would be throwing up right now. But it sounds like to me, that her friend Mike drugged her. It make sense, he was the only one giving her beer." He said suddenly thoughtful.

" Edward is not going to like this." I said. It was a statement. He hated Mike with a passion, and now he had a good reasoned to beat him up.

Speak of the devil , and the devil shall appear. Just then, Edward came in the door. He had a mad expression on his face. HI KNOWS!

"Dame right I know" He said in a deadly calm voice. Crap.

" Someone is in trouble!" I heard Bella say in a sing-song voice, from behind the couch. Edward walked over to the couch, and sat down besides me.

"Alice…"He started.

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**Okay People! This story is already dun, But i want some reviews not more then one or two XD I want to know what you think and stuff. So Please Review!!!!!!!!! ( I know my grammar and spelling suck's, but I'm doing the best I can! I even take my Texts to**


	4. Chapter 4 Help! I'm a Mermaide on land!

**Carlisle POV**

I was sitting in the living room, with a ridicules hat on my head. Edward hade just made his presence noticeable, and apparently, he heard our little chat.

"Alice…." He started with a deadly calm voice. I knew that voice. He was going to yell at Alice. I saw her from the corner of my eye, and she looked like she knew that too.

"Well then, I am going to leave you two alone." I said, as I was about to get out of the cheer. Suddenly, Bella was at Edwards's side, and she was scowling at me.

"Now, what did I say? I said you where going to wait until your father is hear." Edward looked puzzled. He did not know about this part of the story. Bella leaned down to kiss him, but he frowned and pulled back.

"Why can't I kiss my husband? Aren't I allowed do that ether? God! I cook and clean, and take care of the kids for you, and I can't even have a kiss!?" She was so mad. Moreover, Edward's eyes were wide. He did not expect this. She threw herself on to the floor sobbing, and when Edward tried to pick her up she would scream or shrug him off of her.

However, her sobbing turned into evil laughter. _She sounded like Mr. Burns, from Simpson's. Witch I like to watch in secret. Crap. Now Edward knows. Anyway!_

"Mohahahaha! Edward, you had better sleep with one eye open. Because I know captn Jack Sparrow! We are good friends, and you could be used as a penguin." She said with an evil glint in her eye. Then she started sobbing and laughing repeatedly.

4 hours later.

"Bella calm down!" Edward said for the billionth time. I was still being punished for what I did. Alice was not allowed to go anywhere ether. However, the stuff she was on was starting to ebb-out. She looked like she could fall to sleep any minuet now. _Please fall asleep, please fall a sleep…._

**Alice POV**

This is not funny! I have been sitting in the same spot for 4 hours now! I am having visions about me having another vision! One minuet she is laughing her ass of, and the next, she is on the floor sobbing. Now I got a vision that I seriously hope is not going to happen.

_**Bella was lying on the floor with tears in her eyes. Suddenly she sat up glanced at us, turned to her left and threw up on the floor. When she was done, she was grinning like crazy. She was about to say something when the vision ended.**_

"Edward! Get her out of her! She is going to--"But I was too late. She was throwing up al over the place.

"Never mind." I mumbled.

"Hey, look at that! My puke looks like Jesus! Wow, I must be special. Cuz I just puked up Jesus!" She was proud of her self.

_Edward when are you going to yell at me? I cannot take your silence! It is making me nuts!_ I thought to him. This was scary. However, not as scary as Bella. _Calm before the storm…._

"I'll take care of you later Alice. I have to get Bella sober first. But trust me, I will get too you." He said firmly. Bella was too busy admiring her puke to notice us talking.

"Do you think I like this? It was not my fault! She would not listen to me! She's Evil I tell you, EVILE!" I threw my hands in the air. _What was I suppose to do? Drag her out of_ _there before she got drunk?_

"Yes Alice, that was what you were suppose to do! You where suppose to be watching her! What were you thinking? Letting Mike drug her Down…!"After that, I stopped listening. I knew he was mad at me. It was not my fault.

I cannot make decisions for her.

"Umm Edward, Bella is acting like a fish on land….." Carlisle said quietly from behind us.

Sure, there she was one the floor gasping fore air.

"I'M A MERMAID ON LAND! HELP gasp ME!" Bella screamed from the floor. Trashing around like a fish. I grunted. This is going to be a long, Scary-Bella-on-drugs-bug-vampires-sort of thing….

If Bella does not kill Mike, Then I will.

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**_So what do you think? Review! _**

**_I know I can't spell, but honestly, I'm doing the best i can! I use a lot of grammar and spell chencking programs..._**

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**_Oo_**


	5. Chapter 5 I'm no chees burger!

**Edward's POV**

Ahhh! This is so frustrating! I cannot do anything to help my poor, swee--Okay scratch that, I mean scary-Bella. Yes, I Edward Cullen is scared of my girlfriend.

I cannot stop thinking about what she said. _Is that what she wants? Us being married and have kids? However, if this is the way she treats kids, than I am glad I cannot have any._ Alice snapped me out of my thoughts by shaking my arm

"She is lying in the bath tub, with her head under water. You should help her so she does not drown herself. "She said with an annoyed voice.

"Yes, you should go Edward she might---" Carlisle was cut of by a high girly scream. I know that scream, and it is not from some of the girls in this house.

"Heeeeeeeeeelp!!! She is trying to kill me with a baseball bat!! Bella STOP BAITING MY ARM!! I'M NO CHEES-BURGER!!!!!" Emmett yelled from his room. I could here Rosalie laughing. Well I guess she is out of the tub. In addition, that means she does not think she is a mermaid anymore.

Alice, Carlisle and I, ran up to there room. Sure enough, there she was baiting on Emmett's arm. She was dripping wet. Her head snapped up and looked him in the eye. Then she got an evil glint in her eye and said.

"Then why do you taste like one? She said with a smirk. She was still beautiful with that scary face, and drunk as hell look. _EDWARD! She is your girlfriend, and if you want her_ _to live, you will take her away from me. NOW!!!_ Emmett thought to me. I quickly grabbed her by the waist.

She turned around in my arms, facing me. She had a serious look on her face, which turned into a goofy grin.

"YO! What's up homey? You got my shit?" She said in a ghetto voice. _Shit? What Shit?_ _Ugh. I am to mad to care_. I lifted her up in my arms and carried her into my room. When I got in, I put her in my lap.

"Bella, I know that this isn't going to sound weary fun. However, we are going to sit here for a while until this stuff is out of your system. Okay?" I asked her in a soft voice._ I am a little mad at her for drinking. Moreover, taking stuff from MIKE?! She is to dame naïve. Mike is going to wish he were never born once I get to him. In addition, I hope Bella will not be friends with him anymore. That bastard is sicker then I thought he was._

"Only if I get a kiss." She said. She looked smug. In a scary-Bella, sort a way. What the heck, one kiss cannot be so bad. I lined in to kiss her, but she stopped me with her finger. She looked at me for a minuet and then started sobbing.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I sounded a little more annoyed then I was supposing to. However, she is so frustrating! She is sobbing, laughing, mean, and just so god dam annoying!

"Edward! I am never going to see you again! I am on a mission! I could die!" She sobbed on my shoulder.

"Bella, I can take care of Mike okay? You do not have to worry. Now try and get some sleep." I did not need to say that twice, she was already sleeping. Finally! I laid back down on the couch with her on top of me. In addition, I am not moving until she is better. And after that, I am going to pay Mike a visit.

**Esme's POV**

I was about to clean up Bella's puke when I saw something strange. I heard Bella say her puke looked like Jesus, and she was right. I actually looked like Jesus! Holy Kittens in a box! That is weird. I took a picture of the Jesus puke. Hmmm that will look nice over my bed. I smiled to my self. I just saw Jesus. Oh well, back to cleaning. Tra-la la.

**Jasper POV**

_I think it is safe now_… I walked down steers and saw Esme cleaning up puke that looked like some guy. She took a picture of the puke. _WHAT?! Why in the world would she do that? Esme has lost it. I am going to go and find Alice. I need to beg for forgiveness._ I found her in our room.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I really am. But she freaked me out when she started talking to Joey. I mean my hair. Could you forgive me?" I put on my saddest look.

"Do you now what she did? She made me sit on the couch for 4 hours!!! I was having visions about me having visions!!! You are going to make this up to me! And there will be no you-now-what in a month! You are going shopping with me every time I want to for the next century!!! Do you here me?! And you cannot complain one time!! I am so mad at you I could poke your eyes out and stomp on them! Ore I could just get Bella!!! But she is sleeping….next time she gets drunk, you're watching her!!!" she yelled at me. _She is so cute when she is mad._

"okay…. I deserve that. Nevertheless, Alice what are we going to do about Mike? We can't let him get away with this." I sent her a few calm waives. She relaxed completely.

"Well, of cores we're goanna beat the crap out of him. However, we need to do something more. Hmmm. Oh! I know! Here it is…"

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**CLIFFY!!!MOHAHA I am mean today. Okay I have 3 more chapters and then I am done with this story. Again I am sorry for my spelling problem. REVIEW!!!!!!**

**Diddly Oo**


	6. Chapter 6 What the Hell Did I DO!

**Bella POV**

I woke up with the worst headache ever! I do not remember anything from last night. _Wait… I was at the party and then Mike gave me something to drink and then…. OH MY GOD! I got drunk?! Wait, where am I?_

When I realized I was lying on top of someone, I panicked. I jumped up as fast as I could. I started screaming.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! WHERE THE HELL AM I?! AND WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT MERMAIDS?! WATH THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" I yelled at the person under the covers. I heard a musical chuckle and immediately relaxed. I fell on top of him again and tried to get the room to slow down, it was spinning like a, a um…Thing that spins!

"Edward, what happened last night? I don't remember anything." I said quietly.

"Well, a lot of things happened last night. You got drunk. Someone drugged you. And we think we know ho that might be…." he trailed off. He looked so disappointed in me, that I wanted the ground to have me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry!!! I was only going to have two beers' I swear! However, I did not feel anything. And after that, things are a bit blurry….But what happened last night? Pleas say I did not embarrass myself. OMG WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?" I started to panic.

"Bella calm down! Breath. I think I am going to tell you what you did, so that maybe next time, you will say no. Well, let me see. Hmm. Ah! The firs embarrassing thing you did was bite Mike in the leg in front of everybody…" _Oh god! Why, why me?!_

**2 hours later**

"And then you started sobbing about your mission, and how you could die. After that, you fell asleep. I think that's pretty much it." He had an amused look on his face. I looked back with pure horror. _I did that?! What the hell?_

"The revenge of the pigs?" _and pixie people? Oh god, oh god._

"Why the hell did I do that?! Why would I do that? I puked Jesus? Edward pleas tell me you are lying! Your family must hate me! I yelled at Carlisle?! Of all the people I could have yelled at, I picked him! He must hate me! How could I be so stupid!? And I was DRUGGED?! Oh no, I must go to rehab and, and loose my family and friends and you and I-I cannot believe this! You know what, Mike is going to pay! I will take him, and then I will put his hands in a blender. And then I'm going to cut his nose of and then I'm---" I was stopped by Edwards fingers on my lips. I had been rambling.

The rest of the family stood was in the doorway listening to my rambling. They looked a little shocked when I started talking about Mike.

"Bella, I don't hate you. Nun of us does. You are family to you know. And everybody makes mistakes. And by the look on you're face, and the fact that you have been drugged, I think that is punishment enough." Carlisle said from the doorway. Everyone was smiling.

"I am SO, so, so so so so so so so so SO Sorry you guys. Sorry for freaking you out Jasper, I mean with Joey and all…And Emmett for beating you with a baseball bat and trying to eat you. And Alice, I should have listened to you. It was stupid of me. And Esme, sorry for puking on your floor I---"

"You know, you're puke looked a lot like Jesus. I took a picture of it. It's hanging over mine and Carlisle's bed." Everyone turned and looked like her as if she was crazy. _And to tell the truth, I am starting to wonder…_

"Umm, okay. Glad I could help….Rosalie, I am sorry for yelling at you about your homework. And Carlisle, I am SO sorry for putting you in that cheer and making you wear a hat. And Edward I am sorry for the way I acted. And calling you my--gulp---husband. And thank you for taking care of me."

"It's okay. I guess it was a little funny." Emmett said with an amused look on his face.

"I um… put up cameras all over the house a week ago…cuz I um sort of knew this would happen." Alice said. She looked a little guilty. Rosalie and Emmett looked at her in horror.

"YOU KNEW?! YOU KNEW AND YOU STIL LET HER GET DRUNK?!" Edward yelled.

"Look at the bright side! In 100 years when we watch that film, we will all look back and laugh at it! See I'm laughing a little now….haha?" Everyone stared at her in disbelief. _Little innocent Alice Cullen my ass!_

"But I swear, I didn't see that Mike was going to drug her. I'm not that mean!" She tried to defend herself.

"Oh! I want revenge on Mike! Therefore, I think my pig mission thing still is on. Only Mike is the pig now." I said with a frown. _How dear he?! I thought he was my friend! Guess Edward was right then._

"Well, we are going to beat him up, of course, but I was thinking something like public humiliation "Alice said "And I know just the thing. This is what were going to do…."

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	7. Chapter 8 Revenge

**Edward POV**

We where outside Mike's window. It was four in the morning so we knew he would be sleeping.

This was going to be grate! I cannot wait to smash that dumb look off his stupid, ugly, gross, disgusting, miserable, dog-shit-like-face.

I have never seen Bella so angry. I am so glad I am not Mike. The whole car ride her, she was muttering disturbing things to do to him. Again, really, really glad I am not Mike.

We all agreed that Emmett was the one that was going in and get him. It would not look so suspicious for him to be carrying Mike like nothing around.

Once they were out of the window, Mike was up. He looked so scared. Good, he should be scared.

As soon as he had his feet on the ground--Emmett still holding his upper arms--Bella walked over to him and punched him in the face. All of us were too shocked to do anything.

"Mike, what the HELL where you thinking?! You get me drunk and you drugged me?! What has gotten in to you?! You stupid, sorry son of a bitch!" She lunged at him, but I quickly caught her mid air.

"Bella calm down. You'll get to take you're swings at him soon enough." Emmett said, grinning like a child on Christmas morning. He was enjoying this a little too much, but that was fine with me. Mike was going to get it.

"Fine. But only if get the first punch." She snapped, sending death glares at Mike, who looked paler then us.

We got into the Volvo. I was driving and Bella was in the passenger seat. Emmett and Jasper sat in the back, and Mike was in the middle, looking scared to death.

"Bella, I didn't drug you! I swear! Pleas let me go, I didn't do anything" Mike started begging. _Well I did drug her, but she does not have to know that. _He though.

Bella glanced at me, and I shook my head no. he was lying and it made me mad. He was SO going to get it.

"Oh pleas, like I don't know! Alice saw you put it in there, so just stuff it up your fat ass!" She said through clenched teeth.

Emmett and Jasper where trying to hold in there laughs, but I could tell that they where about to burst. They did. They started laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"Ha ha, that's so funny! Because he douse have a fat ass! Just look at it! It's like a jiggly-but!" Emmett exclaimed ones we were out of the car. Mike was red in the face from the embarrassment.

"Ew! Look at that, that thing! Mike, how can you walk through doors or even fit in your car?! I mean, c'mon! look at that thing, it's huge!" Rosalie shouted.

She was good with insults that she knew would sting. Mike cringed at the words. Guess they where worse coming from Rosalie.

Before anyone could do anything else, Bella lunged at him again. It took me a few seconds to get her off him. She was struggling against me, trying to get free from me so she could beat up Mike. I was tempted to just let her go, but we did not need any burses on him. We had agreed to public humiliation first and then beet him up.

"Edward let me go! I want to beat the crap out of that little fucker!" she yelled at me. Bella was never the one for cussing. I had never seen this side of her. She was so violent, so mean. However, as long as she was mean against Mike, I did not care.

Rosalie looked at her with an approving look. Like she liked Bella now.

"Alice, would you help Jasper get the stuff out of the car please?" I asked in a sickly sweet voice. It was making Mike more nervous. That is a good thing.

"What are you going to do to me?" Mike asked in a voice that sounded more like a little girl's squeal, then a 17-year-old guy.

"Lets just say that no one. And I mean no one, is ever going to do that to my little sister again!" Emmett yelled at him. He cringed, and looked at the ground.

Alice and Jasper came back with a bag. They emptied the bag on the ground. Out fell; some duck-tape, painting, a few paintbrushes, a shaver, and some wax.

Mike's eyes where about to pop out of his head when he saw the stuff.

"I want to shave his head and wax his legs! Can I please, please, please?" Alice asked. She put on her best pout and looked at us with puppy dog eyes. No one can resist Alice's pout. We all sighted in union.

"Knock your self out" Emmett responded. She squealed and took up the shaver. She turned it on _**(A/N: it is an electric shaver, you know those that make a bussing sound and you**_ _**shave your head with. ANYWAY)**_ and walked over. She started in the middle of his head. Rosalie took many pictures of this.

"NO! Not my hair! Please, please not my hair! Stop it!" Mike started trashing against Emmett's hold, but Emmett only laughed.

"Well, maybe you should have though of that before you drugged Bella." Alice spat once she was done.

A bald Mike was not a pretty sight. He looked like a frog…Mike the frog. I like it.

Alice ripped of his pajama pants. _(A/N: he has underwear you perverts! sorry to you that are not, and thought that he did have something under!)_

"Rosalie, the wax pleas" Alice said in a serious voice.

"I'll do anything just please don't wax me! Please! I--AHGE! DAMN! Are you people crazy!? I will get you guys back for this I swear I will--AGHHH! Would you stop that?!" Mike yelled at all of us.

When Alice was done waxing his legs, Jasper handed her the little shaver and some shaving crème. She shaved all the hair on his arms, his eyebrows, and his back hairDisgusting after that, Rosalie pulled out the painting and the

paintbrushes.

"Can I pleas paint him?" Bella asked. She looked at every one with a pleading look. It was okay with me, I was going to take my revenge later. I was going to beat the crap out of him. Bella, on the other hand, was not. Therefore, I guess painting him was fair enough.

"Sure why not" I said, smiling at her.

She looked like a little kid. She was smiling from ear to ear. After picking up the brush and the paint, she started working.

She wrote on his chest with big black letters; I am a sick bastard. And on his belly, she wrote; I am no mammas boy. And down his legs, she wrote: disgusting, and Creep. After that, she started painting him pink. After Mike was pink

all over the place, we put him in the trunk of my car. The clock was now 05:30 in the morning.

We drove to the school in less than 10 minuets. Once we got there, Emmett and Jasper took Mike out of the trunk.

We snuck into the school, and went into the hall none of the teachers would pass. Alice took out the duck tape and handed it to me. She winked, and hade a mischievous smile on her lips. Emmett and Jasper held him up against the lockers, and I immediately started working. I duck-taped his arms and his legs against the lockers. He looked like a pink star.

God, he looks stupid. Rosalie thought. I just smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"I'll cal the cops on you guys you know. You won't get away with this." He said with a smirk. Nevertheless, it looked really stupid. A pink bald and no hair on his body, hanging up against lockers in his underwear Mike looked seriously dumb.

"And tell my dad what Mike? That you drugged his daughter and tried to rape her? Good luck with that" Bella spat. He looked down at the floor.

"Well we should probably head back home. And try to get some sleep. Not long before school starts you know." jasper said.

"Yes. And we need to be her early to." Emmett stated.

We went quickly home changed clothes-Bella getting breakfast-- and quickly made our way to school. Esme and Carlisle had no idea. They would just try to stop us.

Once there the word was spread around and everybody knew. People took pictures with there phones. Even the teachers where laughing there heads of. Surprisingly, no one hade taken Mike down yet. That is until Jessica came.

"MIKE! Oh my god what happened to you?! Here let me help you down." She helped him down and took him out to her car and drove him home. We where laughing so hard that we fell to the floor clenching our stomachs. The teachers regained there composures and made us go to class.

Mike did not come back to school in 3 weeks. When he did, the whole school was reminded about what happened and started cracking up about it again. He looked embarrassed. Nevertheless, he deserved that.

I do not think that anyone will ever forget Mike Newton.

The End ;)


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